Rahul’s Blog

Guys just a quick stressbuster for you… You might have read this somewhere, but still surely going to make you smile again!!!

Some basic facts about Men and Women
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First Men:

1. All men are extremely busy.
2. Although they are so busy, they still have time for women.
3. Although they have time for women, they don’t really care for them.
4. Although they don’t really care for them, they always have one around.
5. Although they always have one around them, they always try their luck with others.
6. Although they try their luck with others, they get really pissed off if the woman leaves them.
7. Although the woman leaves them they still don’t learn from their mistakes and still try their luck with others.

Now Women:

1. The most important thing for a woman is financial security.
2. Although this is so important, they still go out and buy expensive clothes and stuff.
3. Although they always buy expensive clothes, again they NEVER have something to wear.
4. Although they never have something to wear, they always dress beautifully.
5. Although they always dress beautifully, their clothes are always just “an old rag”.
6. Although their clothes are always “just an old rag”, they still expect you to compliment them.
7. Although they expect you to compliment them, when you do, they don’t believe you.

Just take it easy girls…

Fine
This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

Five Minutes
If she is getting dressed, this is half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given 5 more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

Nothing
This is the calm before the storm. This means “something” and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with “nothing” usually end in “fine”.

Go Ahead
This is a dare, not permission, DON’T DO IT!

Loud Sigh
Although not actually a word, the loud sigh is often misunderstood by men. A “Loud Sigh” means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over “Nothing”.

That’s Okay
This is one of the most dangerous statements that woman can make to a man. “That’s Okay” means that she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

Thanks
This is the least used of all words in the female vocabulary. If a woman is thanking you. Do not question it, just say you’re welcome and back out of the room slowly.

1. At the movies: When you meet acquaintances/ friends…
Stupid Question:- Hey, what are you doing here?
Answer:-Dont u know, I sell tickets in black over here…

2. In the bus: A heavy lady wearing pointed high-heeled shoes steps on your feet…
Stupid Question:-Sorry, did that hurt?
Answer:-No, not at all, I’m on local anesthesia.. …why don’t you
try again.

3. At a funeral: One of the teary-eyed people ask…
Stupid Question:-Why, why him, of all people.
Answer:-Why? Would it rather have been you?

4. At a restaurant: When you ask the waiter
Stupid Question:-Is ! the “Paneer butter Masala” dish good??
Answer:-No, its terrible and made of adulterated cement. We occassionaly also spit in it.

5. At a family get-together: When some distant aunt meets you after years…
Stupid Question:- Munna, Chickoo, you’ve become so big.
Answer:-Well you haven’t particularly shrunk yourself

6. When a friend announces her wedding, and you ask…
Stupid Question:- Is the guy you’re marrying good?
Answer:- No,he’s a miserable wife-beating , insensitive lout…it’s
just the money.

7. When you get woken up at midnight by a phone call…
Stupid Question:- Sorry. were you sleeping?
Answer:- No. I was doing research on whether the Zulu tribes in Africa marry or not.You thought I was sleeping…. you dumb witted moron.

8. When you see a friend/colleague with evidently shorter hair…
Stupid Question:- Hey have you had a haircut?
Answer:- No, its autumn and I’m shedding…

HER DIARY

Day night, I thought he was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a cafe to have some coffee. I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment. Conversation wasn’t flowing so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk, he agreed but he kept quiet and absent. I asked him what was wrong - he said, “Nothing.” I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset. He said it had nothing to do with me and not to worry. On the way home I told him that I loved him, he simply smiled and kept driving. I can’t explain his behavior; I don’t know why he didn’t say, “I love u,too.” When we got home I felt as if I had lost him, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore. He just sat there and watched TV; he seemed distant and absent.Finally I decided to go to bed. About 10 minutes later he came to bed. I decided that I could not take it anymore, so I decided to confront him with the situation but he had fallen asleep.I started crying and cried until I too fell asleep. I don’t know what to do. I’m almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else. My life is a disaster.

HIS DIARY

Today India lost the cricket match against Bangladesh. DAMN IT!!! 
Now that’s called Simplicity of Men Vs Complexity of Women !!! 

A college student needed a small two-hour course to fill his schedule and the only one available was wildlife Zoology. So he joined in and after one week of study, a test was held. The professor passed out a sheet of small paper where in each square was a carefully drawn picture of a bird’s legs. No bodies, no feet, just legs.

The test asked each student to identify the birds from their legs. Our student sat and stared at the test getting angrier every minute. Finally he stomped up to the front of the classroom and threw the test on the teacher’s desk. “This is the worst test I have ever written.”

The teacher looked up and said: “Young man, you have not filled in anything and you definitely have failed the test. Tell me, what’s your name?”

The student pulled up his trousers to the knee showing his legs and said, “You tell me…”

If You think FERRARI is RED HOT, think again BLACK IS BEAUTIFUL

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