Love Marriage Vs Arranged Marriage

I know, this is one of the most popular topic on the Internet and off the internet as well. People literally jump into conversation to put forward their views. (Or it would be more appropriate to call it as a fight) :-) Sometimes directly or indirectly defending their own sides. At least, I can share my views here without any interruption until I finish… :-)

But before I start I’m sure you must be wondering – “why the hell Rahul is writing about marriages especially when he has no experience of a marriage at all?”

Come on guys, tell me honestly, can I even dare to say anything against marriage, after getting married? – No; So this is the time.. ;-)

 

Let’s start with comparing the differences rather than comparing the benefits. As far as my understanding is concerned, I believe the most significant difference would be the premarital time. In any love marriage, you get more time before marriage and with no strings attached so probably  you feel you are not obligated. You have a free will to understand your partner & move on if things don’t work out. However, in most of the love marriages people don’t even start with the  objective of getting married ; they become good friends & they find each other so compatible that they actually end up marrying each other.

Now consider the arranged marriage – obviously, the objective is clearly defined here even before you meet each other personally. And then you start matching those missing blocks to find the right match. The best part is; your family knows what you are doing so you don’t have to wait to talk on the phone untill everybody sleeps in the night :-) (Now, you may count that as a benefit, short term though…) And you can proudly announce your dating schedule in front of your whole family with no counter-questions what-so-ever.

Anyways, as I mentioned above, does that extra premarital time really make any difference? I mean I’ve friends falling into both these categories with mixed opinions, Read few of these comments –

- “In love marriage, you know your partner well before so there is nothing left to explore after marriage”

– “In arranged marriages, you get to see true colors of your partner only after marriage (really? Come on guys, you can’t be so pessimistic, you can say at least some good things about marriage)”

and so on & on & on…

Ok but to conclude in short, here is my 2 cents – It’s probably not about the way you get married, it’s about the mutual understanding and the patience (yes the patience to get along with those mood swings, the patience you need to cope up with the cricket match until it ends or the patience you need to choose blue curtains for your bedroom :-) )

Basically, it is just the compatibility & not the way of getting married. :-)

P.S. Please note, this article was written in order to highlight the differences between various types of Indian marriages & its completely for fun with no intention to provide any counselling advise what-so-ever. So please consider your partner selection decisions at your own risk.  :-)

P.P.S. And yes, one more thing, stop predicting my status based on the article above, I bet you going to get it wrong, so wait till I reveal it ;-)

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Stressful Life, Why?

It was an extremely cold morning & I was out for morning walk with Dad. Since I was back home on leave for 5 days, it was our usual routine to get up early, go for morning walk & have a cup of tea from the beach-side hotel. Weather was awesomely pleasant. While we were walking, I noticed a cute little kid, with long hair tied up as a pony tail walking with his Dad holding Dad’s finger. He must be around 3-4 years old, trying to walk little faster to match up with his Dad’s speed. His Dad was visibly a poor man, I guess a building construction labour. Kid was seemingly happy & laughing loudly enough that I could hear him on the other side of the road, probably because his Dad was telling him some funny story. I was wondering what that small kid was trying to tell his father :-)

father-and-son1

Another incident  reported by one of my friend. He was in his hometown for Diwali. As you know in India, Diwali is the season for shopping, my friend was also out for shopping.He saw a guy returning back home, riding on his bicycle. And guess what? His entire family, his son, wife & himself riding on the same bicycle. Enjoying their ride, they must have finished their Diwali shopping & returning back home.

Now from both these incidents I noticed that these people definitely do not have lavishing lifestyles but still they were visibly happy & contained with their lives. On the other hand I meet so many people around me; they actually do not have any reason to be tensed or depressed. They have a secure job, earning enough money to afford their lavishing lifestyle. I mean, don’t take me wrong, I’m not only considering monetary aspects but these people are really depressed for nothing. Think about those people who can’t even afford meals for 2 times a day but still they manage to smile. Even worse, I’ve noticed a pathetic & irritating trend of running behind money endlessly. It is so damn irritating when people keep discussing about money all the time. I’m not saying they are wrong, I understand financial stability is important factor but people are getting obsessed with it. Or may be its just my personal experience that I’m meeting up these sort of people quite frequently… Even I confess, sometimes I feel stressed but now over the period of time, I learnt certain ways to cheer up myself & get back to life.

Then I wonder, why these people so stressed all the time? Do you think perception is the problem? or negative mind-set is the root cause here???

Sister’s Marriage.

Guys, I’m busy these days with my sister’s marriage & I’ll be moving out of town so really running short of time but surely I’ll back with latest happenings soon. Still I’ll try to put on the updates as frequently as possible. So have fun & have a nice time!!! :-)

Love & Life

I’m not sure who is the original author but I thought I should share this with you.This story tells us something about LOVE & LIFE…. Here it goes…

“My husband is S/W Engineer by profession, I love him for his steady nature and I love the warm feeling when I lean against his broad shoulders. Two years of courtship and now, five years into marriage, I would have to admit, that I am getting tired of it. The reasons of me loving him before, has now transformed into the cause of all my restlessness. I am a sentimental woman and extremely sensitive when it comes to a relationship and my feelings. I yearn for the romantic moments, like a little girl yearning for candy. My husband is my complete opposite; his lack of sensitivity, and the inability of bringing romantic moments into our marriage has disheartened me about LOVE. One day, I finally decided to tell him my decision, that I wanted a divorce. “Why? ” he asked, shocked. “I am tired. There are no reasons for everything in the world!” I answered. He kept silent the whole night, seemingly in deep thought. My feeling of disappointment only increased. Here was a man who was not able to even express his predicament, so what else could I expect from him? And finally he asked me: “What can I do to change your mind?” Somebody said it right… It’s hard to change a person’s personality, and I guess, I have started losing faith in him. Looking deep into his eyes I slowly answered: “Here is the question. If you can answer and convince my heart, I will change my mind. Let’s say, I want a flower located on the face of a mountain cliff, and we both are sure that picking the flower will cause your death. Will you do it for me?” He said: ” I will give you your answer tomorrow….” My hopes just sank by listening to his response. I woke up the next morning to find him gone, and saw a piece of paper with his scratchy handwriting underneath a milk glass, on the dining table near the front door, that goes….

My dear, “I would not pick that flower for you, but…. please allow me to explain the reasons further….. This first line was already breaking my heart. I continued reading. “When you use the computer you always mess up the Software programs, and you cry in front of the screen. I have to save my fingers so that I can help to restore the programs. You always leave the house keys behind, thus I have to save my legs to rush home to open the door for you. You love traveling but always lose your way in a new city. I have to save my eyes to show you the way. You always have the cramps whenever your “good friend” approaches every month. I have to save my palms so that I can calm the cramps in your tummy. You like to stay indoors, and I worry that you will be infected by infantile autism. I have to save my mouth to tell you jokes and stories to cure your boredom. You always stare at the computer, and that will do nothing good for your eyes. I have to save my eyes so that when we grow old, I can help to clip your nails and help to remove those annoying white hairs. So I can also hold your hand while strolling down the beach, as you enjoy the sunshine and the beautiful sand…and tell you the color of flowers, just like the color of the glow on your young face… Thus, my dear, unless I am sure that there is someone who loves you more than I do… I could not pick that flower yet, and die … ” My tears fell on the letter, and blurred the ink of his handwriting. .. And as I continue on reading… “Now, that you have finished reading my answer, and if you are satisfied, please open the front door for I am standing outside bringing your favorite bread and fresh milk…”

I rushed to pull open the door, and saw his anxious face, clutching tightly with his hands, the milk bottle and loaf of bread….Now I am very sure that no one will ever love me as much as he does, and I have decided to leave the flower alone…

That’s LIFE, and LOVE. When one is surrounded by love, the feeling of excitement fades away, and one tends to ignore the true love that lies in between the peace and dullness. Love shows up in all forms; even in very small and cheeky forms. It has never been a model. It could be the dullest and most boring form … Flowers, and romantic moments are only used and appear on the surface of the relationship. Under all this, the pillar of true love stands… AND THAT’S LIFE P/s: this is not my experience but it truly happens.

Lets get the moral of this story. Most of the time we do not appreciate people around us, they may not good in expressing their feelings but it doesn’t mean that they don’t love u. If they aren’t good at expressing love, then why don’t we take the first step to show some love???”